3 Simple Steps to Obtain the Perfect Dancing Body
/I have spent most of my life cultivating the perfect dancing body, and I thought it was high time I shared some of my documented and highly flouted research on how to obtain the most perfect dancing body with you, my beloved reader.
Please know, that these 3 steps have been tested on over a million miceysubjects who were put through a rigorous series of dance steps - in a maze no less - in order to determine if indeed, they could obtain a dancing body, and the results are in:
They did it.
All of them.
All 1,000000000000 mice came out of the maze, dancing, with the most perfect dancing bodies.
This fact alone gives me license to guarantee that you too can have a dancing body, if you just put your mind to it!
This is not for the faint of heart, so get your grit on ladies, and let’s get dancing!
(Music cue: That awful Justin Bieber song, What do you Mean starts playing NOW. Please don’t google it.)
Step Number 1:
To obtain the perfect dancing body and to get into dancing shape FAST: Dance.
Step Number 2:
To obtain the perfect dancing body that gets you into dancing shape FAST: Dance.
Step Number 3:
To obtain the perfect dancing body that gets you into dancing shape FAST: Dance.
No more talk about bikini bodies people.
This is the season for dancing bodies.
Pack up those strappy sundresses, and get out your wool socks, your soft pants, and your favorite t-shirt. The one with the holes in it.
Lay down on the floor and getting ready to work, hard.
Rest.
Breath.
Notice.
Maybe even fall asleep.
And then watch your body instantly transform itself into the most perfect, the most dependable, and the most trustworthy dancing body that you ever could have imagined.
Your dance mission for the week is to repeat this mantra 3 times, every morning before you get out of bed:
I have a body.
I dance.
I have a dancing body.
I have a perfect dancing body.
To celebrate all of your hard dancing work, treat yourself to a hamburger, fries, and a chocolate milkshake.
Side note: Some of you have asked how I come up with ideas to write this newsletter every week. I have never known how to answer this question, before now.
This week’s newsletter’s deadline was approaching, and I had no idea what I was going to say, when all of a sudden a very friendly man gave me the perfect idea.
We were talking about what we both did for work.
When I told him I was a dancer, his response was: “But you don’t have a dancer’s body. How can you be a dancer?”
And that was that, this week’s newsletter came on like a freight train.
And yes, I did treat myself, quite happily, to a hamburger, french fries, and a chocolate milkshake after that conversation.
Then I went to rehearsal and had a most fabulous time, dancing.
With Warmth and Jivey Vibes,
Joanna
of
Joanna and The Agitators
sweetly agitating/persistently upending